A Gentle Nudge
Wednesday, March 4th, 2009
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Sometimes we all need a little nudge…Or maybe a big kick in the rump, as was my case.
Recently I have been working on taking full responsibility for everything that comes into my life. Sometimes this is a hard concept to swallow. But as we have been learning, everything is connected. That means, at least for me, as much as I would like to not have to admit it, I have somehow attracted my eye disease into my life. And it is my responsibility to draw my healing.
As much as I want to believe that I can change my reality and heal my eyesight, life seems to get in the way. Living with RP every single day, I find myself thinking, “How can I ever possibly have perfect vision again?” It seems an impossible task…How can little ol’ me do anything about this huge, insurmountable problem?”
Don’t get me wrong. I respect and honor my strength that has allowed me to overcome the obstacles that have presented themselves along the way that could have kept me from doing the one thing that I love to do more than almost anything else, which is why I’m still running. But on the other hand, I have allowed the disease to slowly take other parts of my life I used to enjoy from me, such as bike riding, driving, and beading, and stamping to name a few. That is when the nudge, or in my case the kick in the tail, becomes necessary.
And thank God I have T to keep me on track. She checks in with me and asks me how it’s going with the healing of my vision. I hem-haw around and try to avoid the question.
Always gentle, she persists by asking me why I am so resistant to fixing my eyes? When I really think about why, I realize that it boils down to belief. Specifically, my lack of belief in my ability to fix my vision. And If I don’t believe my vision can be fixed, then the Universe can not bring about the circumstances to heal me.
Even though I knew it before, one of the things I’ve become more conscious of recently, is the thought that it’s not me healing my vision. It’s me putting things into play so that a stronger, higher power can do the healing. It seemed so huge and overwhelming when I was looking at it as “little ol’ me” having to do this big job called “healing my vision and restoring my eyesight.” Shining the light on the basic concept that I’m not actually in charge of “doing” the healing makes it so much more conceivable. I can request it from the Universe, and then be open to whatever the next inspired action will be whispered to me.
I started doing EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique. Simply put, it involves tapping on different places on your body with two fingers, which works to clear blockages and resistances in your energy field. Before you begin tapping, you rate from 1 to 10 how you feel about a certain resistance.
You then own your resistance, whatever it is, indicating that you still have love and respect for yourself. For example, mine is: “Even though I don’t fully believe that I can have perfect vision, I completely accept and love myself” while tapping 7 times on the different meridians. Then you rate how you are feeling, and you can continue to do the technique until your resistance gets to a zero. (To get more info Click Here! )
I have started to do EFT while in the shower or walking to my mom’s, or even during a quiet moment at work. Currently I’m at a 6 with my resistance about being able to have perfect vision. I know I need to work on it, and I may need some help figuring out the root cause of this disbelief. Enter Theta and Radical Forgiveness, two huge emotional/spiritual healing techniques that I have barely scratched the surface of learning how to use.
Just the other day T was reading me a true story from Joe Vitale’s book, “Expect Miracles” about a guy named Gary who would not accept the doctor’s diagnosis that he had MS. He just refused to believe it. He decided to change his reality and found out what MS was, and in his mind he created a work force of beavers to work around the clock patching and repairing his myelin sheaths. He also visualized what he would be doing on his 100th birthday…Jumping out of a plane!
The doctor had given him a dismal outlook on what he could expect his life to be like. When he told his doctor what he was doing with his visualizations, the neurologist, already resigned to Gary’s fate, said “Don’t expect too much.” So he fired his doctor.
Now 20 years later he is doing great and has accomplished all sorts of things, from a fire walk, to mountain climbing to bungee jumping! Amazing results since he was supposed to be dead or confined to a wheelchair years and years ago!
About five years after his diagnosis, he had an MRI and 90% of the previous scar tissue was gone. The doctor told him this just doesn’t happen! Well of course it does! He just proved it does – because he changed his reality and never bought into the diagnosis.
This got me thinking about my eyesight, and I decided that I was not going to accept the doctor’s diagnosis of RP. Even though I thought over the years I had not accepted the doctors diagnosis, in reality I had…And as a result my vision has gotten worse. So I figured why not create my own work force of beavers.
My beavers would be the best of the best; specially skilled to work in my Rods And Cones factory manufacturing and placing the cells that I need that are dropping out of my retina and not replacing themselves. They are paid extremely well…as Gary said in his story, “Hey, I’m worth it”
My Rods And Cones factory runs 24/7 producing the rods and cone cells. They also have an on-site pond to relax and play in. All meals are provided free of charge to the workers in the Beaver Lodge where the best beaver chefs prepare and serve meals around the clock. There is an on-site store with all sorts of snacks and supplies also free of charge.
I have hired supervisors and line operators, as well as Quality Control beavers to check the rods and cones before they are loaded onto trucks that take them to the main placement site: my retina. There the heavy equipment operator beavers, in their Carharts and hard hats, take the rods and cones to where there is a hole in my retina to fill. After dropping in the rod or cone, my “Weaver Beavers” put the finishing touches on the cells to keep them in place patting them down with their flat tails.
Why beavers? Of course, Gary’s story started it. But it makes perfect sense. Well think about it…beavers are always building and repairing, always hard at work. That’s who I want on the job of fixing my eyesight. And more importantly, how cute is the image of a beaver in a hardhat?!!!
So the night that I had my first shift of beavers working away, I had gone to take my evening nap before I had to be at work at 11pm. T came in to wake me up to get ready for work…”Get up, Get Up you little ol’ sleepy head!” After waking me, she came back into the room and said, “You know I had to get up from my desk where I was working three different times tonight to answer the door.”
“Really? Who was it?” I was curious.
Seriously she says, “The tapping was very persistent. When I answered the door there were several furry critters with flat shiny tails, and hard hats on. They were looking for you. They asked if you were still hiring.” T left the room and I’m laughing. She then turns around, sticks her head back in the room for a second, saying deadpan “They seemed quite eager.”
I burst into a new chorus of laughter. Her timing and delivery was spot-on. Sometimes I just don’t know where she comes up with this stuff!
So with the beavers working diligently on my behalf, another technique I am using is visualizing my day with perfect vision. T has also helped me with this taking me through my day expressing what I might see and say as the day progresses. It was quite fun, and served to remind me that visualization and imagination are powerful tools, that I don’t use often enough. It’s not hard. I just forget.
With the tools I have at my disposal, I am now ready to start changing my reality. I’m the only one who can. As much as T wants me to see again, it’s up to me to do the belief work. I do want to see again. I just have to work through whatever resistances I have and keep visualizing. I am learning to live in the moment. And any moment now I’ll see perfectly again!
How ‘bout it?
-Vision Runner
