Runner Insight

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In the winter and spring when it’s still too dark in the mornings to walk home safely after work, I call a taxi if I can’t catch a ride home with a co-worker or take the bus.  

About a week ago, one night when I called to reserve my cab for a 6 a.m. pick-up, the dispatcher told me the cab might be a little late, as they were already getting lots of timed calls for the morning because of Spring Break: over-worked and bleary-eyed college students wanting to escape the cold spring weather of Montana were heading to the airport in search of a climate more conducive to bathing suits.   

 I said it would be okay if I had to wait a few minutes, but inside I didn’t really like it, and I was feeling shorted, since it costs me about an hour’s wage for the taxi to get home. And I don’t really like wasting precious minutes waiting around after working all night when I could be home sleeping. So I was a little bit resentful of the wait.

At 4:46 a.m. my co-worker Diane called to say she was awake.  We have a system in place, whereby if she doesn’t call me by 5:10 a.m., I call her. This avoids the scenario where she sleeps through her alarm and shows up late. Anyway, 4:46 was exceptionally early for her to be calling, and I knew that meant she would be in to work a few minutes early. 

That’s when I started wondering about my taxi. Maybe I should call the cab company and tell them I was going to get off work early so they could pick me up before they had an airport run?  Maybe they could squeeze me in before the rush? 

But what if Diane was not early?  Then what? What to do? Should I call the cab company or not?

All of a sudden a light bulb went off (in my head silly, not in the room  ) I remembered the audio series I’d been listening to by Dr. Wayne Dyer, “The Secrets to Manifesting Your Destiny.”

The first principal is about recognizing that you have a higher self.  And one of the things he recommended was whenever you are about to act, if you have any conflict at all in your mind, you can ask the question “Is what I’m about to say or do going to bring me peace, more peace in my life?  Or is it going to bring turmoil, some kind of struggle or anxiety?”

So I asked my higher self what I should do. And the answer was clear.  I was already feeling anxious about the taxi.  So I decided not to call the cab company, as it would just create more questioning and worrying. I decided I would focus on manifesting that the cab would be ready and waiting for me; even if I was off early. Then I surrendered the outcome to the Universe, knowing no matter what the outcome was, I was at peace with it.

I had realized my forcing the issue, and wanting the cab to be there when I wanted it to be there was not bringing me peace.  I was stressing and worrying about it.  My ego wanted it, and felt that if I paid good money for a taxi, it should be there when I wanted it to be there. Thank you ego for looking out for me, but I choose peace.

Now, this was not really a huge ordeal at the time, but a lot of times we struggle needlessly with the myriad of small details in our lives. This was an eye-opening moment for me: recognizing that I could be at peace no matter what the outcome.

As I suspected, Diane showed up about 15 minutes early.  So I gathered my backpack and slipped into my coat.  As I went to clock out I could tell there was a car outside the doors, but with my low vision I couldn’t tell if it was my taxi or not.

After clocking out I went outside and to my delight there was my taxi cab waiting for me.

Sometimes it’s the little stuff that carries the biggest lessons that hit home the hardest, if we only wake up and pay attention.  I choose peace.

How ‘bout it?

-Vision Runner

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In 1997, when I flew from Montana to Arizona to meet with an eye specialist, I never expected to hear the news that I got.  He told me that the eye disease I had just been diagnosed with, Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP), had no cure.  And that it would most likely render me completely blind eventually.

As you can imagine, this revelation hit me hard, like a baseball bat to the gut.  At first, beyond the dread, the denial kicked in, and of course this couldn’t possibly be true. No cure?  He had to be wrong about that. I was confused cause my eye doctor back in Montana had thought, with surgery, it could be corrected.  He figured they could just drain the jelly out of my eye, and remove the layer of tissue that had crinkled, causing me to have some vision problems. Then replace the eye jelly, and voila, presto-chango…all better!

Not that I was looking forward to having the jelly sucked out of my eye! Believe me, I wasn’t! That’s disgusting! What if they dropped it or lost it?!  But, as disconcerting as that whole concept was, at least that made it sound like I had hope, that I could get my eyesight back.  My doctor at home had sent me to the specialist in Tucson to find out what had caused this crinkle in my eye tissue in the first place, to get some reassurance that it could be fixed, not to find out that I had a genetic disease and I was going irreversibly blind.

The contradiction between what I had been expecting to find out, and the news I ultimately received, caused a deep dissonance within me, and at least initially, a slight paranoia. You can understand that I was expecting to be told something scary, as well as pretty gross and disgusting, yet still, hopeful. The information I got wasn’t any of that: it went well beyond frightening; it was not disgusting, and certainly the furthest thing from optimistic. Simply put, I was going blind. Period. The End. Stop. End of Story.

Leaving the doctor’s office that day, I was wandering in a cloud of devastation, excruciatingly anxious, with an uncertain fear deep in the center of me. Was it true? Was he wrong? What if he was right? What would I do? What would happen to me? How do I deal with it? How do I tell my family? How the hell did this happen to me? And on and on and on…..

So, what do runners do when they can’t do much else? I don’t know: I guess they run. At least that’s what I did, trying to clear the fog in my head and the fear in my gut.

Since I was staying with friends in Tucson, I decided to run in the neighborhood where they lived. It was an early spring day, and as I ran in this new place, trying to note landmarks and keep track of my location, it sort of took my mind off the overwhelming idea that I was going blind, although obviously, not completely. But as you run, you do get into a percussive rhythm, with better chemicals flowing through your brain and body, and I think that also helps balance out some of the discord. It’s probably why they recommend exercise as an adjunct to therapy.

Anyway, I was rounding the corner to go back. And there was something ahead on the sidewalk. As I got closer, I could tell it was a small bird.  When I bent down, I saw it was a baby dove.

I picked it up to move it off the sidewalk, and as I did so, my mind billowed and my heart calmed with recognition at the simple, but deeply powerful message the universe was sending me: even during times of uncertainty I could be at peace. Things would work themselves out, even if I didn’t know how or why.

How did I know this? I was holding the symbol of peace right there in my hands!

A message for me…..

…..Right when I needed it most.

How ‘bout it?

Vision Runner

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Several months ago, a friend of ours, Rebecca,  sent us a forwarded email. The subject line read: “The Great Peach Experiment!”

Well of course this piqued our curiosity, so we opened the email. As we read the content of the email, it became clear that the original sender had mis-typed the word Peach. She meant for it to say “The Great Peace Experiment!”

We laughed, and thought it was funny that, even though we get bombarded with tons of forwarded e-mails that we don’t even open, simply because of the odd subject line, we had to open the email. I guess it did its job, although inadvertently.

The point of the email was to challenge everyone to start envisioning the world as a kind, loving, and generous place.

Now, when we are watching TV, especially the news, if they broadcast something that is unpleasant, or violent, often we’ll say “That is not our experience”, and then “The world is a kind, loving and generous place.” We usually then look at each other and end up saying in unison “It’s The Great Peach Experiment!” and we laugh.

It could work for you: the next time you see something that is negative or unpleasant, you can say “The world is a kind, loving, and generous place. It’s the Great Peach Experiment!” If nothing else, perhaps it will make you smile….And with that smile, you’ll send a little more positive energy out into the vibration of the world, and everyone will benefit.

How ‘bout it? 

       

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